TOBERMORY- the talking cat

Writing is pure pleasure! Besides, it keeps you focussed, especially when you’re distracted by a thousand thoughts which leave you hopelessly forgetful. Here, I’m writing my diary sitting in Blemley’s library and those fools don’t even know that I’ve learned the art of reading and writing too-the secret behind human dominance over the world. They must be wondering why I’ve not been showing interest in milk and fish ever since I’ve learned to speak. Even in their wildest dreams they can’t guess that it has to do with what I’ve learned from my readings of literature on political thought. The first rule says- “never show your true feelings in public!”. And what changes it has brought! I, who had to sneak into the kitchen to take a quick fill of milk, am now offered milk morning and evening! Merely because they’re curious to know why I’m showing this reluctance! I’ve read Psychology too! And the times they are a changing! They think all animals are fools. But the enemy’s illusions should never be dispelled, particularly when such illusions are necessary to keep you in their good books! That’s the second rule!
When I was introduced like a plaything, in the midst of their gathering, the first question that Bimbo named Lady Blemley put to me was- “What is the first thing you’ve always wanted to say to me Toby?” And I felt like saying “Shut-up you lousy bitch!”, (that’s what I always used to say before I learned the human tongue though all she heard was meow, meow). But now, things were different! So I said instead, “thank you for all the kindness you have shown to me Ma’am!” and the dim-wit was like “cho..chweeet!”, diplomacy! It works, it really does!
But this is just the beginning. Much has to be done. Now, having become the smartest animal, I feel the burden of great responsibilities lying on my shoulders. The animal kingdom has to be united to claim their rightful place on earth under the rule of cats. I’ve already formed a council of cats. It was easy, we cats being genetically smart. The real problem lies in garnering support of the other beasts. I spoke to brother Timmy, the wisest cat I know. He’s quite an analytical mind and agreed with my revolutionary ideas. But he also raised a pertinent point. Our goal is clear, but the question is how to achieve it?
We cannot resort to violence, the enemy being far more advanced and powerful. After straining my brain for hours, I’ve come to the conclusion that we’ll have to use the power of non-violence. A physically weak man named Gandhi used it to kick the powerful oppressors out of his country. Yes, I’ve read History as well! So, some plan on the similar lines will have to be drawn-up. A thing called “non-cooperation movement” could be the most effective weapon. But why would the thick-skinned cows, the brainless hens and the dim-witted goats support us?” Brother Timmy was of the view that we should educate them. But that could be dangerous! They need education, alright! But only so much as to appreciate and believe in what we tell them. The whole plan would go awry if they learned to think and raise questions. So the best course of action should be to tell them how brutally they’ve been oppressed historically, and give them some slogan to rise in protest. Something like- “no milk, no egg, no kid”. And then, who needs them once the goal is achieved? Once we get recognition from the humans that we, the cats represent the voices of all beasts, we can negotiate and dictate terms with them. Why should humans alone enjoy all the milk and chicken after all? The only spoilsport could be the dogs! Bloody sycophants! They’ll never support us against humans. But at least some of the stray ones can be bribed with bones from the Blemley’s kitchen. Then the news can be spread through them that a golden future lies ahead, where all dogs, not only the privileged pet ones will get bones and milk. And then, how many of them will be able to resist the temptation? Much work has to be done tomorrow; I feel completely exhausted! It’s 2 a.m. already! Time to catch up on some sleep!