When a poet in solitude gazes at the divine splendour of the rising sun, he is filled with a flood of precious thoughts which he translates into poetry. To put it differently, he learns to speak a language which he had never known. Perhaps every artist undergoes this before giving shape to their creativity. But what if it started happening the other way round? leave alone learning some new language the poor fellow might forget even the language that he speaks. What a horrible situation it would be!! Speechless!! He would be totally Speechless, as if dumb. But this is a mere hypothesis. But can it ever happen in reality? Can anyone ever go through any experience so profound, that they go Speechless? Well, I certainly cannot answer it for artists, or anyone else for that matter, but for myself.
What I talked about in the part-I of this topic was when I had experienced speechlessness for the first time. What I am writing now is about my last speechlessness: the one I presently cherish. It is said that history repeats itself; badly so for me. The lad of high-school has grown-up today into a university student. But this time it was not like the last time which happened at the first glance. This time it was gradual. There are and have been many pretty faces around, who are, in common parlance known better as eye-candies. But she has, I feel, a kind of transcendental touch to herself as if living in this world she has remained totally untouched by its filth, reflecting something so ethereally soothing, as if divine. Not a tinge of cheapness(read phonyness). Yes, you might feel I'm now getting a little superfluous but this is my blog and I can go on and on about her. To be honest I can speak about all this because she is nowhere around, otherwise you know I would have gone, as I always go whenever she comes across-Speechless. So, the last time I became speechless was the last time I saw her, that is, a few hours ago; in the morning. But wait.... this speechlessness in not of choicelessness, but of choice!
BEAUTY-
Words are a hindrance,
Speech is futile,
Just feel, experience,
understand, and smile!!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Speechlessness!
There is a great deal to speak about speechlessness, but where do I start? I don't know, but I know I want to speak about it so here it goes...
"Speechless can the people be in two ways- if a person has a lot to say he doesn't have any point to speak (on), first is this. Second is, if a person has nothing to say he is speechless."
"Speechless can the people be in two ways- if a person has a lot to say he doesn't have any point to speak (on), first is this. Second is, if a person has nothing to say he is speechless."
(Someone)
Do I remember the last time I was rendered speechless? Perhaps yes, I do. I remember quite a few memorable occassions when I found myself speechless. Now, when I sitdown and nostalgically look back to those moments, I find myself speechless again.
THE PRICE I PAID FOR MY FIRST SPEECHLESSNESS!!
My memory doesn't allow me to go back beyond this incident. I was in high-school then, in 9th standard to be precise. I was not very different from how I am now except in terms of physique and my outlook towards various subjects. I belonged to the cadre of the very few "good boys" of the class who strictly adhered to certain principles or say rules which were then never meant to be broken. The mojority of the boys, however, comprised of those boys who were, atleast to me "bad boys". Now, what were the parameters to decide "good" and "bad" and distinguish, preserve and protect the former from the latter? Very simple!! Certain "topics" were bad topics and were not to be discussed. Talking about females was one of such topics. To make it more clear, If some perverted muddle-headed old man was invited by the school to deliver a lecture on what they called sex-education, being a good boy it would be my primary duty not to pay him any attention and when given a choice of leaving or remaining in the class, walk out without a second thought. And the "bad guys", well they-the shameless fellows would not only remain in the class but discuss each and every aspect with the oldy with utmost interest and enthusiasm. Even normally, the most interesting topic of discussion they preferred would be... what else? girls. So thats how our class was. But one fine morning, I remember it was saturday and I was in white uniform when a lanky guy fell nearly unconscious in the class. The curious class huddled around him to figure-out what had happened. I being the last guy to be in the crowd did not get up. Why get up yaar? The hardest thing for people in general and a crowd in particular is to keep their mouth shut. So why run after the news when its going to follow you wherever you go. But I turned my head towards the scene. And lo!! I was speechless!! Yes, completely speechless. There in the crowd stood-out a girl, who didn't seem to belong to this world. Who was she? Where had she come from? What was her name? And most of all, was she really a girl or an angel? All rules now seemed meaningless. The heart- for the first time I became aware that there was really something like that inside me and it would never listen to the head. It would now always command the head which would like a loyal slave turn to catch a furtive glimpse of that angel. But I the poor good guy screwed-up my studies that whole year. I who hardly missed classes became a truant just to avoid seeing her which would make me go....And who said this was enough? Compounding the situation was the in-going struggle between "good" and "bad" which was born out of the feeling of guilt for having broken the set rules. And there was nobody to talk to, this topic being a taboo. So I kept burning in the fire of guilt that whole year so much so that it paid me very well on the final marksheet and caused me to take the decision of taking admission in another school the next year.
Do I remember the last time I was rendered speechless? Perhaps yes, I do. I remember quite a few memorable occassions when I found myself speechless. Now, when I sitdown and nostalgically look back to those moments, I find myself speechless again.
THE PRICE I PAID FOR MY FIRST SPEECHLESSNESS!!
My memory doesn't allow me to go back beyond this incident. I was in high-school then, in 9th standard to be precise. I was not very different from how I am now except in terms of physique and my outlook towards various subjects. I belonged to the cadre of the very few "good boys" of the class who strictly adhered to certain principles or say rules which were then never meant to be broken. The mojority of the boys, however, comprised of those boys who were, atleast to me "bad boys". Now, what were the parameters to decide "good" and "bad" and distinguish, preserve and protect the former from the latter? Very simple!! Certain "topics" were bad topics and were not to be discussed. Talking about females was one of such topics. To make it more clear, If some perverted muddle-headed old man was invited by the school to deliver a lecture on what they called sex-education, being a good boy it would be my primary duty not to pay him any attention and when given a choice of leaving or remaining in the class, walk out without a second thought. And the "bad guys", well they-the shameless fellows would not only remain in the class but discuss each and every aspect with the oldy with utmost interest and enthusiasm. Even normally, the most interesting topic of discussion they preferred would be... what else? girls. So thats how our class was. But one fine morning, I remember it was saturday and I was in white uniform when a lanky guy fell nearly unconscious in the class. The curious class huddled around him to figure-out what had happened. I being the last guy to be in the crowd did not get up. Why get up yaar? The hardest thing for people in general and a crowd in particular is to keep their mouth shut. So why run after the news when its going to follow you wherever you go. But I turned my head towards the scene. And lo!! I was speechless!! Yes, completely speechless. There in the crowd stood-out a girl, who didn't seem to belong to this world. Who was she? Where had she come from? What was her name? And most of all, was she really a girl or an angel? All rules now seemed meaningless. The heart- for the first time I became aware that there was really something like that inside me and it would never listen to the head. It would now always command the head which would like a loyal slave turn to catch a furtive glimpse of that angel. But I the poor good guy screwed-up my studies that whole year. I who hardly missed classes became a truant just to avoid seeing her which would make me go....And who said this was enough? Compounding the situation was the in-going struggle between "good" and "bad" which was born out of the feeling of guilt for having broken the set rules. And there was nobody to talk to, this topic being a taboo. So I kept burning in the fire of guilt that whole year so much so that it paid me very well on the final marksheet and caused me to take the decision of taking admission in another school the next year.
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