your hate, my trusted mate

long have i carried
the burden of your “hate”
and it’s been kinder than love,
for it makes no claim on my freedom
as love so often does.
Hence, i’m free to love you,
with all my heart,
without having to bother
about your expectations.
But Beware!
when i see the purity of your loathing,
my heart is filled with a deep longing
and i secretly conspire with it
to spoil it,
and endear myself to you.
May i never succeed,
for my freedom,
which is the source of my love,
would be lost
and i would not remain myself
as soon as i did.