not until your last day!

Come-on Raghav, tell me who she is!
Who?
The chick you’re going around with these days...
She’s not a chick!
“Oh... sorry! So, finally you broke your resolution of not falling in love ever again. And that’s good news, which calls for a party! Doesn’t it?” Pallav said with a friendly smile.
Not really!
Why? I mean, you have a decent job, you’re well over thirty, and she’s pretty...and...
“And I’ve made a new resolution!” Raghav intercepted him in the middle.
What?
“Never marry! This is my new resolution! It is one that I shall never change, however.”
What? Achha...so Mr. lover boy is now turning into a stud?
Think what you will, I don’t really care! he casually replied getting-up from his seat, and set out for home. He knew his colleagues were gossiping about her at the office, but he just didn’t want to talk about it.
II.
“Here, look what I’ve brought!” he said smilingly, handing a bouquet of red roses to her. Her lips reciprocated the smile, but not her eyes. Those were the two dark windows through which he could see the gloom within her; a darkness which no light could dispel.
Hey cheer-up baby! It’s Valentine ’s Day! He said.
“Why are you doing all this?” She asked
What?, He said, somewhat surprised.
I’ve thought it over Raghav, and I’ve decided to leave. I must find my place somewhere else.
Why...you know what you’ve come to mean to me and yet you say...you know I can’t afford to lose you, not this time...and still, I wouldn’t stop you if that is what you wish. But first look into my eyes and say you want to leave.
“It’s not a question of my wish; I can’t let the shadow of my wretched existence fall over your beautiful life” she said in a heavy voice turning her eyes away from him.
“I need not tell you that my life was never so beautiful as it has become after your coming into it. Tell me exactly what has happened?” Raghav enquired.
I received calls today. I don’t know how they got the landline number. Sooner or later they’ll disclose my identity, and then...Look, my days are already numbered Raghu. But you have your whole life ahead. How will you face the world when it comes to know my past identity?
Which world Pragya? The same world which caused your father to commit suicide because the monsoons failed, and he couldn’t pay his loans? The same world which sold you like a piece of meat to those wolves? The same world which gave you HIV ? No Pragya, that world isn’t worth caring about. I have my own world where only you and I live. And it says you’re incredibly beautiful and loveable. You’re not going anywhere, not until your last day!

finally, we became friends!! (I)

Finally, we became friends-you and I. And guess what- we went gaga, burst into a mushy bollywood-style duet and went gyrating around the trees? No! We were boring types, you and I, and so we didn’t talk much. I kept gazing at you in utter silence and a faint smile appeared on your face. It was heavenly! And then...i started sharing with you my things- some books, some music, some other stuff, my understanding of life and the world; and my version of truths...it was all a groundwork to prepare you for one final thing- my innermost secret. I was anxious to hear you, though your way of living had spoken everything that could possibly be spoken...yours was a path of balance; mine one of extremes. You knew how to deal with the world and yet be yourself; for me it was either the world or me.
“Why were you so anxious to talk?”, you asked.
“Because you were balanced; so balanced that you reminded me of someone who was the embodiment of an ought”, i replied looking into your soulful eyes. “You know...I can’t be myself walking through the twisted lanes of the world; I myself get twisted! And then...I forget my purpose! You lived like a lotus in the puddle; and i am yet to learn that art from you. But till then, the world is not needed, you’re enough!”
“Be a little practical”, you said, perhaps wanting to tease me. “I can’t, not in the sense they use the word... please allow me to remain myself!”, I replied candidly, as usual!
I told you some facts...how things were unfair, and what was wrong with the world. Some facts you didn’t know, but other things you did.
“What did you do after leaving college?”, you asked.
I tried to work...
So then?
I couldn’t...
Why?
I dunno...
So now?
I’ll work
Why...
Coz you’ll allow me to do what i want to do...no...you’ll make me do what i want to do...

to be in love...??

to love someone...is to reveal the most vulnerable aspect of your individuality. and it can be as painful as dying. why do then, people love? or do they really? if they really did, perhaps we would have a different kind of world altogether.to love i.e., to reveal that you're vulnerable, is to choose to surrender. to surrender, is to be at somebody else's mercy. and can there be a greater gift? people commit suicide. why? because they can't surrender. they're torn apart by two opposing forces- the mind and the heart...imagine a devotee putting himself at the feet of his deity as a mark of his love. but if the deity be an unusual type, and instead of appreciating his sacrifice, kick him on the butt and walk away with a contemptuous sneer, what would happen to the devotee ? haha...actually his sacrifice became possible because "the mind aspect" of the fellow arrived at an understanding with "the heart aspect", and said, "go ahead", have your way; i shall create no obstacles, if by surrender you get your desired object i.e. the deity's appreciation. but now...since the strategy has failed, what is the mind going to do? it is sure to be at loggerheads with the heart... and hence the disharmony! if only, the man was only mind! if only he was only heart! but alas, he is both! and there is no peace! (man includes woman too)

the patriots lay down their lives for their motherland. great guys, they are considered...but imagine a situation, where a patriot happens to possess the exclusive knowledge of certain facts, and is required to base his action on those facts, though that action of his will earn him the title of a "traitor" forever! how many patriots, would find themselves inclined to undertake that action? there may be a few, but what about the majority? appreciation is the greatest reward for the "heart aspect", mind you! what people call an unselfish act of love, in most cases, is guided by a most selfish desire for appreciation, acknowledgment or approval.

now the question is, is that love? BULLSHIT!

awfully irrational...or rational?

what have i been searching? Every cloud is but part of the sky...attachment is what causes all the pain! But clouds are clouds, they appear, drift away, and disappear! I've been awfully imprudent and irrational; and who knows it better than me? But we play the roles life assigns to us, don't we? Makes no sense! Let me put it this way...why does a person prefer black to pink, or coffee to tea? Is there, or can there be a rational justification for one's choices? We simply make them, don't we?Rationality comes into the picture later...All you've gotta do is to employ the best means to achieve the chosen goal. That's what rationally means, doesn't it? Where then is the question of right and wrong? The only significant question is, "what alternatives do you have?" And if you're left with no alternative but "being irrational", well...then isn't that irrationality rational?

ekbar fir sooraj doob gaya

Ek baar fir sooraj doob gaya...
agyat se jo roshan thaa,
agyaat mein hi bujh gaya...
ekbar fir sooraj doob gaya..
ab shyam gagan mein tare hain,
chhote, par kitne saare hain...
aur kitnon ko pyaare hain!
suraj se raushan shrishti thee...
suraj thaa to drishti thee,
par kiski netr ka taara thaa?
dekha jisne, uski aankhon mein chubh gaya,
ekbar fir suraj doob gayaa...!

Last Night...

Last night,
i saw you,
ready to bid “farewell”
to the place i’d left two years back;
i hadn’t then felt so unwell...
but i was filled with unspeakable fright,
last night...
i too had said “goodbye”
and i had no fear...
but when I saw you ready to disappear
it was a different sight,
Last night...
yes, the sun will again rise
and by the evening
the chirruping birds will be on the wing
i’d witness all this,
but what a funny thing,
of you i’d know nothing
that’s how things are...
perhaps, that’s how they’re meant to be-
neither dark nor bright..
why then, was i filled with madding darkness;
and there was no hint of light?
Last night...

the art of empathy

so what did you learn when you "fell" in love..?
the "ART OF EMPATHY"
EMPATHY? With whom?

With IDIOTS, MORONS AND ASSHOLES..:)